I've been sitting with something lately.
Not frustration, exactly. More... accumulation. Quiet weight.
The kind that builds up slowly when you're leading without the title.
This past year, I've shaped strategy, coached PMs, held the roadmap, connected dots across teams, and kept momentum alive through moments that could've drifted. That instinct to step in, lead through ambiguity, and turn mess into motion? It's part of my operating system.
Not because it was on a job description. Because it needed doing - and I cared enough to step in.
And for a while, that was enough.
But informal leadership is a strange space. It gives you impact, but not always air cover. It builds trust, but rarely mandate. You get relied on - but not always recognised. You hold things together, but you don't always get to shape the structure that holds you. And that structure - when it works - is what lets a team really flow.
And that's what's been catching up with me. Not the volume of the work - but the cost of doing it without clear backing.
I've found myself hesitating in places I used to move fast. Not because I don't know what to do - but because I'm not sure it's mine to hold anymore.
And that hesitation doesn't just cost me - it costs the team. It blurs ownership. It slows growth. It makes good people second-guess what's safe to take on.
What I've Noticed
Sometimes, it's not that you're not ready. It's that the system isn't built to recognise what you're doing.
People fall upwards all the time. Not because they've delivered meaningful outcomes - but because they knew how to talk about them. Because they worked the politics. Because they stretched a CV and the reference check never came.
And once you've got the title, it compounds. You stay long enough, and the org re-orgs - congrats, you're a director now. You move again, and the paper trail makes it all look earned.
Experience on paper becomes currency. A fresh face gets the benefit of the doubt. But someone already doing the work? They're told to wait. To prove it again.
Meanwhile, the person who's actually coaching the team, running the planning, holding the roadmap, and showing up for others - gets told, "we're not sure yet."
I've felt that. Lived that. Watched the same work be valued differently depending on who was doing it.
But this isn't about any one place or team. It's something I've seen - and sometimes internalised - across roles and contexts.
The reality is: impact without clarity can be exhausting. And systems that reward presentation over contribution will keep getting what they optimise for.
If someone is already achieving the outcomes you'd expect from someone in the role - and they're doing it in a way that strengthens the culture, not breaks it - what more are you waiting for?
Experience can be a useful proxy. But real impact is proof. And delaying recognition because it doesn't fit the org chart... That's how you risk losing the people already leading.
What I'll Try to Remember
If I ever run my own company, I'll try to remember this:
That roles evolve faster than org charts. That sometimes the person doing the work is the role - even if the title hasn't caught up.
That delay creates drift. And drift quietly erodes momentum, trust, and motivation.
I'll remember how leadership without structure can wear down even the most high-agency people.
That care without clarity is unsustainable. That "we'll figure it out later" always has a cost - it's just usually paid by the person stepping up in the meantime.
And maybe most of all:
Not every leader who steps back "failed." Some were just early. They took the ambiguity so the next person didn't have to. Their work became the foundation - even if it was never called out as such.
This isn't a complaint. It's a reflection.
A mirror I'm holding up for myself - and maybe others who've felt the same.
We talk a lot about ownership, impact, and stepping up.
But we should talk more about what makes that sustainable. Especially when ambiguity, over-coordination, and unclear ownership slow us down.
The invisible load. The ambiguous expectations. The cost of caring without clarity.
This connects to something I've been thinking about: making the invisible work visible. When leadership is informal, so much of what you do happens in the background - and that's exactly the problem.
Because people will step up. And they'll carry more than their share. But if you want them to keep carrying, you have to meet them with structure, support, and truth.
Or they'll stop. And when they do, it won't be because they couldn't lead. It'll be because they led too long without being seen.
Let's not wait until someone burns out or steps away to realise they were already leading. Let's invest in them early. Back them openly. And build the kind of systems that empower - not just reward - our next leaders.
